That is what it is all about. What are you thinking? What do you want? What do you believe you will get?
Just thinking. Who is that thinking by the way? Of course it is you but is it really you or just an interpretation you have come up with to approximate who you are?
Are there actually two of you? Actually there are probably dozens of you. It all depends on what scenario you are running in your head, doesn't it?
There is confident, top of the world you. There is nervous too much to do you. There is you watching the news getting angry or afraid for the future of the planet. There is relaxed you on vacation in the islands. There is exasperated you tormented by annoying people. They are all you of course but they are also a blurring mix of reactions to the world around you. They are the response you come up with to deal with the reality you perceive around you in any given moment. But those you's are just the characters you have created that you believe will be best to handle the issue at hand.
So who is the REAL you? The real you in most cases is just a spectator. Like watching a good movie, it is easy to get very wrapped up in the roles you play. Everyone always plays their parts the best they can. Some people are better performers than others. Not everyone figures out how to be a charismatic leader. Not everyone develops the temperament to be a good parent. Not everyone can be a great stand-up comic. Each of us actors on this global stage on which we find ourselves has been equipped with different talents. Some of us get really good at exploiting our innate talents. Most of us just use whatever talents come naturally to us to make the best of dealing with the scenes we find ourselves in.
Like any good actor we go through the pages of the script as the story unfolds before us. Many just go with it and do their best to make things work out in their favor and hope others will think they are playing their part well. Some of us realize with a little conscious effort we can make changes in the script to benefit our character. Then there are the few who recognize that they have total creative control over the story-line. That's a tough one though - you are running up against all of the other actors in your scenes who are accepting that the story-line is going one direction and there you are not following the script. Some people may even think you are crazy - out of touch with reality.
You know that is not the case. You have simply created a new reality. You have come to realize that whatever you decide to believe is true will be - for you at least. You know that you are actually the one making up the story and you do not have to do something just because it follows naturally based on what others are doing or even what you have done in the past. It's your story and you are always creating it in the moment. If you become great at directing and writing (and believing in) your own story, other players will begin to adopt your story-line as their own.
That is why you have been chosen to play the part you have taken on. Your creativity and imagination driven by inspiration will remake the world in your image. Try and make it a good one. Life will never play you, you will always be the one playing life.